I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
