She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
