You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
