You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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