i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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