oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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