just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize