3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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