Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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