i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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