yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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