...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
