Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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