my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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