Say something about gay babies.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
