I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
