i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
