i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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