my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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