Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
