I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
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