I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
two words: eviction party
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
