It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
