Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
