The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
