I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
