just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
