She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
