he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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