I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize