This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
