I just made out with a guy for $7.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
