so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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