Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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