i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
