I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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