I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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