Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
