oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
