can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
