yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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