i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
His nipple licking is glorious
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