I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
