Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
