All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize