So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
