Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize