I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
