just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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