Please, let me fuck your mom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
