He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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