Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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