: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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