yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
