this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
