I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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